This weekend, I got the opportunity to attend the wedding of one of my close high school friends. It was probably my first big event outside of my own family since being vaccinated, and the first time that I was indoors around a lot of other people who I didn’t know. There was a core group of us, friends from our days at St. James Academy, among the first three graduating classes of that fine institution, who tended to stick together throughout the wedding on Saturday afternoon and reception later that evening, a number of whom I hadn’t seen in nearly a decade.

All throughout the day and evening, I was struck by how much I had come to appreciate these people over the years, and the memories I had of our time studying together, and in many cases, making The Awesome Alliance (2009–2013) together. It seems to me that I never really came to appreciate the people around me until after we had all moved on with our lives, and especially until the COVID pandemic forced all of us to stop what we were doing for nearly 13 months, giving us all a lot of time to think.

I think my own appreciation for my friends from high school, undergraduate, my two masters degrees, and now my doctorate has been just as influenced by my own self-perception as it has on any of their actions. My own shyness and self-doubt often left me doing less than I wanted to, being less outgoing than I hoped for, often feeling like Chaplin’s Little Tramp looking through the windows of the dance hall in The Gold Rush watching other people’s happiness from afar. On Saturday though, I did something I hadn’t done in a long time, at least since I began to overthink nearly everything: I danced at the reception, if only briefly. Sure, I still needed to announce some sort of justification aloud for why I felt like joining in the dance, something to justify it to my own self-doubt, so that I could let my guard down for at least a little bit and have a bit of fun with everyone else.

After the last year of on again, off again isolation, I’ve come to really appreciate what it meant to be with other people, family and friends alike. In the past I’ve written about how dearly I appreciated my friends and their willingness to spend time with me, but today my sentiments feel richer and fuller than before. Maybe it comes with maturity, I am after all nearing my 30th birthday. Getting to spend time with these people as an adult, rather than as a teenager was a memorable experience, and as I drove away that evening alone, I was struck as I have been in the recent past after similar events, at how much I appreciate these people who I spent a good four years of my life with. It reminds me to not take this current time, my time as a graduate student in the Binghamton History Department, for granted.