I often find myself trying to balance staying connected with my family and friends all around the globe and staying connected with the people I’m with in a given moment. Beyond even face-to-face conversations, even when I’m alone I find myself sometimes struggling to focus on one thing at a time and not let my mind drift towards looking up this or that thing, or to any of my social media accounts, while a routine moment in a TV show or more importantly in my work passes by.

Still, there are times when I make a strong effort at being present in the moment in which I’m living. I realized last night that I still hadn’t posted a photo of one of the sheep staring through a fence at me at the Ross Park Zoo here in Binghamton that I had taken on Sunday afternoon, with a humorous caption about the pair of us both thinking about food at once bringing chuckles to the fore for a few who would read it. While I wanted to put that picture out there on my Instagram story, in that particular moment I was far more focused on enjoying hanging out with one of my best friends who I don’t get to see all that often.

I think the question of connectivity comes down to a question of purpose: why are we in the situation where we’re in public among family and friends yet still hooked to every ping and notification that emanates from our phones? I’ve balanced that out by usually keeping my phone on silent, and severely limiting which notifications come through to buzz my wrist on my smartwatch. If the person who those notifications are meant to attract is me, then they don’t need to be heard by anyone else around me.

Further, when I’m in a situation where I really do need to focus on what’s going on in the room, say in a class or a concert or at a religious service, then I’ll turn on the “Do not disturb” feature on my watch and let any notifications that come through queue up on my phone where I can look through them after that event is finished. I’ll often do the same thing if I’m out for a meal with family or friends; in that moment they deserve my attention, not the device in my pocket.

I do think these devices serve an important purpose for all of us today. Contrary to the opinions of some eye-rollers who are my senior, I do remember a time before much of this connectivity. I remember how hard it was when I was little to call my Mom on the phone when she was traveling for work overseas. I still do write letters, on occasion, and enjoy sending postcards to a handful of people when the idea makes itself known to me. But I certainly wouldn’t go back to a life before smartphones and smartwatches.

I think as with most of these new technologies, we’re still in a sort of Wild West phase, when there are less set guidelines or rules to how all this technology impacts our lives and how we in turn use that same technology. As the devices improve, as they become more advanced, more precise in their capabilities, I think we too will refine their usage. We’re not quite to the point of replacing a smartphone or smartwatch with the communication badges found in the Star Trek shows set in the 24th century, which are almost like speaker phones in that they can be heard by people around the wearer, but those people seem to have learned to ignore conversations to which they aren’t privy when the need arises. For now, when I’m taking a phone call in public I will use my headphones, in this case a set of Air Pods, which I’m proud to say contrary to common practice I’ve yet to misplace.

We’ll get there eventually. For now though, do me a favor and turn that ringer on silent during events, and keep the speaker phone conversations to a minimum in public.