Tag Archives: Change

St. Nicholas

This week on the Wednesday Blog, some words about St. Nick. — Click Here to support the Wednesday Blog: https://www.patreon.com/sthosdkane

This week on the Wednesday Blog, some words about St. Nick.


We find ourselves again in the last month of the year, at a holiday that I wasn’t aware of until elementary school. According to tradition, on the night leading up to the 6th of December, St. Nicholas will come around to everyone’s houses and leave presents in our shoes. I remember thinking that was an exciting idea at first but today I wonder about the sanitation of that, let alone the sanity of it as well. Then again, to quote the late, great Chico Marx “there ain’t no such thing as a sanity clause!” I always imagined St. Nicholas as a winter saint, in line with the old Green Man figure of folklore. So, for me this feast day is more about the beginning of Advent, of December, and of the Holiday Season than it is about the sainted fellow himself.

There are many elements which go into this season that conflate the ancient, medieval, & modern, the sacred & secular, the busy & serene. I feel as though my life has been caught in a whirling storm, a tempest raised by some staffed soul seeking to prove a point about the possible and limits of my own ability. I can now sit at peace with my own limitations and know that in spite of what might be seen as a failure is its own kind of success, a fulfilled experience across eighteen weeks that proved to me where my own road leads.

This Christmas, I find myself thinking as well about the remarkable Christmases past. Christmas 2012 stands out to me now. That year, I had my one and only experience sitting beside my grandfather Kane at the table as one of the adults. He told me stories about his own childhood and twenties that I hadn’t heard before. It’s been ten years now since he made the voyage to the great Christmas dinner in the sky, where I hope we’ll sit beside each other again someday. That promise of a future may well be the chief reason why I believe at all, for belief on its own is hard to justify. I look at the charming, gregarious, and quite vocal people I’ve spent my days with now for the last few months and think about all the Christmases to come they will know. Even as our roads come to their divergence, I smile thinking about them and all they will become.

These long December nights are a time when the ancient returns to life again in my imagination; when the dancing dreams of an idealized past reignites itself with the flames that inspired our modern electric lights which keep us comfortable amid the darkness. The early mornings still feel alien, and they are something I will not miss from this time now ending, yet the fact I could make that time my own is something I’m quite proud of.

All of this is to say that I have chosen to leave the school I am currently teaching at as of the end of this semester on Wednesday, 20 December. If you couldn’t tell, I don’t often know what the conclusion of these Wednesday Blog posts will be when I start writing them. St. Nicholas may be in my mind, yet life continues to catch my attention. I set out in July to see if I could teach middle school children, ages 11 to 14, and I’ve found the difficulties outweigh the tremendous successes. I’ve learned where my abilities lie and where I have room to grow. So, I now prepare to leave as I see the wind change on the eastern horizon. Like the staff-bearer, this role “I here abjure,” and leave it happy at the fortune of having held it if only for a while so best to speak the truth as I know it. This moment will one day be another person’s ancient history even as I now see the present moment; and when it is their history, I hope they will see all the interwoven vines and threads which connect this moment with its own historic foundations and see all the things that from it are yet to come.

Like St. Nicholas’s Day, these months serving as a teacher have touched on a great many historic rhymes, and I hope moments of it will live on as another one of my own Christmas memories.


Seasonal Confusion

This week on the Wednesday Blog, I have a bone to pick with the weather. — Click here to support the Wednesday Blog: https://www.patreon.com/sthosdkane

This week on the Wednesday Blog, I have a bone to pick with the weather.


I wouldn’t be a good Midwesterner, nor even a good human being, if I didn’t always have the weather as a fall back conversation topic. There’s always something going on out there to comment on. This week I’m befuddled by the sudden shifting of the moment from a prolonged summertime heat that lasted throughout September to a sudden crisp Fall chill which made the date, now in the second week of this month, all the clearer to me.

My own human surprise at the sudden change of weather might best be described with a mechanical being, in this case the idea that Star Trek‘s android Lieutenant Commander Data had a functioning internal chronometer that kept him accurate to the nanosecond. Yet that chronometer could be turned off if he wanted, though before that was suggested to him, Data hadn’t ever considered the possibility. I’ve had my odd week where I’ve lost track of time, whether due to sickness or exhaustion. So, to come to this week and be caught unaware that the warm days of Summer are truly behind us when they seemed interminable in Kansas City struck me harder to believe than I expected.

In my current situation this means that I’m closer now to Thanksgiving than the start of this Fall Semester when I began my new and current job teaching middle schoolers. It also means that the late Fall deadlines that I have for written submissions are indeed closer than they may have initially appeared. We passed by the usual markers of the changing of the seasons, and I recognized them as I watched them go by; yet I think because I haven’t spent a full year in Kansas City since 2019 I found myself unassuming when the hot days continued even as the Sun began to set sooner over the Great Plains to our west, venturing ever as it does each day towards the Rockies, Deserts, and Pacific beyond.

On Monday, my photo app reminded me that 4 years ago this week I made my first trip home after the big move east to Binghamton, and in the pictures featuring my beloved and dearly missed dog Noel in my arms I’m wearing the same sort of woolen sweater I’d usually don when indoors throughout the Winter. So, even in that moment when my seasonal expectations were still attuned to Kansas City’s climate, by now I’d be far colder than I am today.

It’s curious considering that I was told to expect earlier winters when I was in Binghamton, yet even there I only began to don my winter coat by about the first week of October. It seems reasonable to assume then that all of this is due to changes in our climate, a topic I’ve written about a great deal in this blog of late. What strikes me the most about 2023 has been the stability of our climate over most of the past four months. My suspicion long term is that the extreme heat we experienced in the late Summer, which drove my students indoors for recess for a week, and the extreme cold we felt around Christmas last year will become our new normal. I hope then, that we can adjust properly to this new normal, both in our energy use and in our ways of living throughout the changing seasons. I grew up knowing Winter to be long, cold, and snowy, Spring to be stormy, Summer to be long, hot, and dry, and Fall to be of crisp with occasional storms. Now though, the frosts of Winter “come pale, meager, and cold” to quote Henry Purcell’s The Fairie Queen, for far longer in a mirror to the lengthening Summer heat. Should I be fortunate enough to have children, my lived wisdom of the seasons may prove useless to them in their own brave new world. Certainly, the moderation which brought my ancestors to this middle bit of the North American continent is fast fading from view.

My seasonal confusion is in part born out of how fast my life is moving at this moment, juggling three jobs and trying to maintain my research all at the same time. Still, as I feel the crisp air filter in while writing this, I am eager to see another Fall arrive like all the others I’ve known.

Want change? Make it profitable

This week I’ve decided to write a poem. Writer’s block has determined it’s not quite the right time for me to try and express my thoughts on this topic or any topic in full sentences. Enjoy!

Change is going to come

eventually, or so we hope.

But if it is to come

then it must be for everyone.


So, how do we make such potential possible?

Simple, indeed.

Make that change profitable

and what makes the markets sing

So too will change it bring.


A change has to come

eventually we’ll figure things out,

but if we really want change,

we’re going to have to admit

that someone’s going to make a profit off of it.